Years Roll Slowly Past
by klutzysunshine
Summary: A series of missing scenes and tags for all 327 episodes.
1. Rattled

Episode tag to** Game Night**, in which both boys are pretty rattled after Sam's latest death.

* * *

Dean hovered over his brother after they dropped Donatello off at his place and made their way back home. "You sure you're okay?" he double checked with Sam.

Sam, still reeling from his latest death, could only nod. "I'm fine," he lied. He could still feel the impact as Nick hit him with the rock (not once but twice!) and shuddered. His only thought had been to get Dean because he wanted to spend his last moments (again) with his older brother. The experience had rattled them both despite their experience with dying.

Dean couldn't take it anymore and wrapped his arms around his brother. "I should have done this after Jack healed you. Tell me the truth, kiddo."

Sam continued to shudder but he grabbed onto Dean's shirt and refused to let go. "Still feeling a little off. Wasn't exactly a pleasant way to go."

"I'm glad Nick's rotting in hell," Dean snarled. He couldn't get Sam's last words out of his head and knew if Jack hadn't gotten to the man, he would have made sure he suffered.

"Me too." Feeling comfortable and safe in his older brother's arms, Sam finally started to relax and hoped Dean didn't let go.

Fortunately for him, Dean knew exactly what Sam wanted and needed at the moment, and that was his comfort and support. He didn't want to let go either for fear that something would happen again. Pulling himself together after Jack healed Sam hadn't exactly been easy nor his finest moment. He couldn't fall apart right there and then, though, especially when Sam still needed him and was also having a hard time pulling himself together. "You good yet?"

"No," Sam reluctantly admitted. He buried his head in Dean's chest and refused to let him go anywhere.

"You want to sit, Sam? This can't be too comfortable." Worry starting to spike again, Dean resisted the urge to check his younger brother's face to make sure he wasn't still injured and just not saying anything.

At Sam's nod, Dean ushered them both over to his room, and sat down on the bed. They sat in silence for a while until he turned on the TV just to give them something to do. Sam rolled over and pushed himself up to the pillow, pulling a squawking Dean with him, and the two of them tried to find something to watch.

They bickered for about fifteen minutes before finally agreeing on one of their favorite movies, and settled in to just relax for a few hours.

Sam and Dean wouldn't get much down time before the next crisis hit but they had to take what they could get, especially after a case as traumatizing as this one.


	2. Shatter Upon Impact

Tag to **Absence**. In the wake of Mary's death, Sam finally reaches his breaking point and shatters. Dean and Cas aren't doing so hot either.

* * *

Sam managed to keep himself together until the three of them entered the bunker. They made their way down the stairs, he hit the war room, and his knees just buckled up. He struggled to keep upright and almost hit the floor before Dean grabbed him just in time. "Sammy?" he asked in a concerned but dull tone. He tried to tell them that he was okay but the words wouldn't come and he burst into sobs instead. He lowered himself to the ground, taking Dean with him, and curled up in a ball.

Cas crouched down next to them. "Sam?" he pressed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't you apologize. Not for this. You crying about Mom?" Dean questioned, keeping his hand on Sam's arm.

"Most of it. But everything just hit me at once. It's been a really bad fucking year, Dean." He continued to sob and buried his head in his brother's chest, feeling guilty that he was preventing him from grieving too.

"I know it has been. You want to get off the floor and go to bed? This can't be comfortable." Mostly Dean didn't want Sam to cry himself to sleep right here in the war room, which was one hundred percent where this was heading if his breakdown continued. He wasn't surprised Sam had finally reached his breaking point.

"Please don't leave me." Sam couldn't take another loss, not so soon. He needed Dean by his side.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sammy, I promise. Why don't we head to my room instead? You okay with that?" At Sam's nod, he and Cas helped him up then Dean led him back to his own room. Tears poured down Sam's face the whole way down the hallway and he refused to let go of his older brother.

Sam wanted to stop crying but couldn't now - the dam had finally burst and everything he had been holding back since Michael possessed Dean was pouring of him like a faucet. "Sorry," he apologized again.

"Hey, what did I tell you about apologizing? Stop that," Dean gently chided, willing to ride this out. He forced his own tears back because his brother needed him to be the strong one right now. He could fall apart later.

"I didn't get to say goodbye again." Sam's voice shook and his breath hitched. "But she told me she was proud of you."

"She was so fucking proud of you, Sammy. Me too - she loved us both." Dean brushed Sam's hair out of his eyes and his heart broke even more.

"Don't go," Sam pleaded again, lost in his grief and everything else he buried for months, hoping it wouldn't blow up in his face.

"Not going anywhere." He had a feeling he'd be reassuring his brother of that a lot in the days to come.

"I love you," Sam told him, which nearly broke Dean even more.

"Right back at you, kiddo. Always." Dean pressed a kiss to Sam's temple, worried when his brother continued to tremble.

Right on schedule, Sam cried himself into exhaustion and sleep within half an hour, leaving Dean to his own grief.

* * *

As soon as Sam and Dean left his sight, Cas crumpled and finally gave into the grief and guilt that had been building ever since he got the news that Mary was "no longer on this Earth". Even though he was alone, he needed some privacy so the angel bolted towards his bedroom and locked the door behind him. Sliding to the door, he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. "Fuck," he choked out. A sob welled up within him and he curled one of his hands up and placed it on his mouth in order to stifle it but that didn't seem to help one bit. Seeing Mary at peace should have helped but it only made shit worse for some reason.

He doubted he was truly dead to Dean but he didn't blame him one bit for being angry. Drowning in guilt, despair, and grief, Cas could only wonder how they'd be able to find their way out of this one. They needed to help Jack and find him as soon as possible - he hoped his son wasn't too far gone but it'd be hard to say until they actually saw and talked to him.

He wants to be hopeful that they'll be able to get through to him, to save the nephilim, but right now it's too soon to see a path that leads somewhere good.

So for now, Cas mourns alone and hopes he can pretend to be strong in the coming days.

* * *

Furious, Dean tried to hold on to his anger so he doesn't fall apart but it's burning away fast, especially when he's closely monitoring a sleeping brother with tear tracks on his face. His mother's gone again, and this time, there's no coming back. At least she's in Heaven with John - a small comfort which doesn't actually make him feel better. "I hope you're truly happy again, Mom," he murmured, wincing when Sam shifted a bit before settling back down.

He's completely shattered, knows Sam is too, and despite his anger at him, wonders how Cas is faring. Probably not well, especially since he looked wrecked and beaten down too. He'll apologize to him in the morning. Hell, they might not be able to look each other in the eye. It's been that kind of day.

In a matter of months, he's gained and lost both parents. He still hasn't quite recovered from John's brief, devastating visit, and now Dean can't stop flashing back to when he held his dead mother in his arms, Sam next to him, holding him because he couldn't figure out what else to do.

Dean bowed his head and finally gave into the tears he's been holding back for hours, his own body trembling now. He's not surprised when even in his sleep, Sam mumbles something unintelligible and pats his arms before he's pulled under again.

Dean wasn't even surprised when he too ended up crying himself to sleep.

They've all hit rock bottom and as much as the three of them want to help Jack, none of them can see a way out yet. It's too soon for that.


	3. Slick

Dean thought he was being slick by disappearing and crying in private but Sam and Castiel were onto him. Several days after Mary's memorial and their attempt to lock Jack in the box failed, Cas knocked on Dean's door in an attempt to have an honest conversation with him but received no answer. "He's crying in the shower again," Sam told him as he passed by.

Cas winced. "Again?" At least he hadn't driven the Impala into the woods to grieve again.

Sam nodded. He just wished his brother could open up to them but he knew how Dean handled his grief - he'd come to them when he was ready but for now, he just needed to do it alone. Like his brother, he missed his mom so much he couldn't take it but he took comfort in the fact that his parents were now together and at peace. It didn't help all that much but it at least it lessened the grief just a bit.

"We have to confront him at some point." Cas didn't want to, especially when Dean's fury radiated off him and was directed mostly towards him, but it was necessary.

"And we will but just leave him be for now."

Cas sighed. "Fine. Any luck on finding Jack?"

Sam shook his head. "Nothing's coming up but we'll find him even though he doesn't want to be."

"I hope so." Jack had been pretty pissed and took off pretty quickly after escaping and nearly destroying the bunker. They had been unable to locate him since, but at least he had stopped murdering innocent people - the three of them were keeping an eye on Bible-related killings. Cas' heart continued to break and he felt guilty every time he thought about the past few months. And they still didn't know about his deal with the Empty, which he knew he had to confess to soon.

"Good luck." Sam clapped him on the shoulder and then headed to the war room.

Cas made his way to his own bedroom and sat down, trying not think so he wouldn't drown in grief, guilt, and despair.

* * *

Dean washed his hair, his whole body shaking with sobs. He tried to keep as quiet as possible so Sam and Cas didn't hear but thankfully they weren't coming in to check on him. He wanted to be strong but his mother's second death had re-opened old wounds and the trauma from her first death was hitting him full force again. He hated it with a passion but the grief overwhelmed him every step of the way. Holding on to his anger was the only thing keeping him going, and he didn't know what he'd do if that went away. He just wanted his mom back - he missed her so much and not even the fact that she and John had reunited again helped. Turning the water off and using the towel to hide the evidence of his tears when he stepped out of the shower, Dean bolted back to his room. Luckily for him, he didn't run into Cas or his brother.

As soon as he dried off and dressed himself, Dean sat down on the bed and contemplated taking Baby into the woods again. Maybe it'd make Sam and Cas suspicious but they didn't seem to be so far so that was a point in his favor. He choked on a sob and sighed. "Mom?" he asked, his voice cracking. "If you can hear me, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry and I miss you, and hope you and Dad are happy."

None of them were okay, and Dean was just barely holding on by a thread. He was thisclose to completely falling apart. Cracking at the seams, he wished to go back to just a few weeks ago, when he was happy and still had a mom.

They had to take care of this Jack situation, and maybe (just maybe) he could finally start thinking straight again without grief hanging over his head.

Life continued to deal them a shitty hand and the Winchesters just had to shut up and deal with it, even though they all needed a break at the moment.


	4. House Of Cards

Billie's been preparing for this for a long time - she's seen how this ends and _wants_ the Winchesters to win, but of course, they're not there yet. They still have a lot to do first before they get there. Team Free Will has to work for the ending they deserve.

She saw Jack's second death coming for weeks and talked to the Empty about it - the nephilim won't be going to Heaven this time because he has a purpose. Like his fathers before him, his death isn't permanent. Billie is ready to fight God and reap him to save the world.

Billie's already waiting in the Empty, cringing in anticipation of all the souls escaping Hell (and Heaven, soon) when Jack comes to with a gasp. "About what?" he questions when she tells him they should talk.

"About the problem Chuck - God - just unleashed upon the world because the Winchesters didn't follow his script."

"What problem?" Curious despite the situation - he's dead again but doesn't feel empty again - Jack has to know.

Billie sighs. "He just released all the souls from Hell - and Heaven's thisclose to finally falling - expect that to happen any minute now - and unleashed a horde of zombies on the Winchesters and Castiel. I don't like 'Team Free Will' repeatedly fucking up my plans with their numerous resurrections but it's necessary in this case. You are needed to help them stop this apocalypse, Jack."

His mouth drops open. "Me? But why me? I just killed Mary! And a bunch of other innocent people!" Is he starting to feel again?

Her mouth quirks. "And Dean couldn't kill you, right? And to answer your question, your soul's slowly coming back. We have to hurry and finish this conversation because the zombie horde is about to kill your fathers, by the way. Can't dawdle. Or fuck anything up, but I know who I'm talking about, so that's off the table."

Jack does laugh at that. "Why are you so interested in saving the world? I thought you hated us."

Billie shakes her head. "Far from it. Chuck can't just end this world on a whim - I won't allow it. Despite what he may think, he's not the ruler of the Universe."

From behind her, the Empty taps its wrist, urging her to hurry up.

Jack is suddenly feeling _everything_ and hates himself for killing Mary, for the way he treated Sam and Dean afterwards. He understands so much now. "Fuck," he murmurs and then his eyes dart towards Billie, expecting her to chide him. He _might_ have picked up on the Winchesters' language but in his defense, so has Castiel.

She rolls her eyes in fondness at him. "Time to go, young one. You have work to do."

"Thanks, Billie." Strolling up to Death, he hugs her, catching her off guard.

Billie only pats his shoulder. "How … sweet. Tell them there's a plan, got it?"

"Got it." Jack pulls away and takes a deep breath to prepare himself for his resurrection.

Billie winks and then points her scythe at him, prompting Jack to blink from existence in the Empty.

Chuck may think he holds all the cards but he's underestimated her - and Team Free Will, of course. He doesn't know what she's truly capable of, which is how Billie likes it.

The song doesn't have to remain the same.


	5. Things We Lost In The Fire

Coda to the pilot. In the week following Jessica's death, Sam's grieving while Dean deals with some old trauma.

* * *

In the week following Jessica's death, Sam and Dean stuck around Palo Alto to find some answers. But Dean was also majorly worried about his little brother and hovered over him constantly, not even caring one bit when Sam snapped at him because he needed some space. In the wake of whatever killed their mother returning, Dean was absolutely terrified for Sam's safety and that's one reason he wouldn't leave him. Unfortunately for him, seeing Jessica on the ceiling like that brought back the trauma of their mother's death and he was trying his best to ignore it. "You don't seem okay," Sam murmured as he sat down on the bed in their motel room. He and Dean planned to leave California for Colorado in the morning and he was starting to get antsy. And despite his grief, he could tell something was up with his big brother.

Dean flashed him a smirk but Sam wasn't buying it. "I'm fine - you're the one who isn't okay, Sammy."

"Don't call me that," Sam shot back.

Like he intended to listen. "But seriously, are you feeling fine?" Dean pressed.

"Stop motherhenning me, Dean."

"Then stop avoiding the question, kiddo."

"You're deflecting too!" Sam wasn't about to let this go, no matter how much Dean clearly wanted him to.

He rolled his eyes. As much as he would love to say something, he couldn't - and Sam took priority right now anyway. Dean couldn't dump all his issues on him (ever but especially not just days after Sam's girlfriend died). "Sammy, just answer the question."

This time it was Sam's turn to roll his eyes, and he knew Dean wouldn't let it go until he responded. "I'm alright - definitely been better." He sniffed, trying valiantly to hold back the tears. He didn't want to fall apart again nor did he want to did sleep - he knew more nightmares were in his future.

"Thanks for finally answering me. Was like pulling teeth," Dean complained as he stood up to grab a coffee.

"Can you get me one?" Sam asked.

"Sure." Dean poured his little brother's cup first and then his own. He left his own on the counter while he walked over to Sam and handed the cup to his own before returning.

"Thanks." Sam grinned at him and then took a sip of his coffee. He wrinkled his nose up when the disgusting taste finally hit him.

In bed that night, neither Winchester got much sleep. Sam was trying to keep the nightmares at bay while Dean couldn't stop thinking about his mother's death. He remembered that horrific night so clearly, along with the heat. He shivered in his bed and turned to face Sam to keep an eye on him. He couldn't let him out of his sight just yet.

Sam ignored his brother's gaze, hoping Dean would believe he was asleep. He wondered if he was thinking about their mother, but he didn't even know if Dean remembered that night. He hadn't talked much about it growing up.

Fire had cost the Winchesters so much, and they didn't even know what had killed Mary and Jessica. They needed to find John and hunt this fucker down.

They had work to do but tonight, all that mattered was the trauma they would have to live with forever. Neither could quite shake it when Jessica's loss was so fresh. Her death had opened old wounds for Dean that never quite healed while Sam now knew firsthand why his father had sought revenge.


	6. Saving People, Hunting Things

Tag to **Wendigo**.

* * *

Not wanting to go too far after being injured by and then taking care of the Wendigo, Dean stopped an hour later for the night at a nondescript motel. "How you feeling?" Dean asked his younger brother.

"How are you feeling?" Sam countered.

Dean shot him a look and rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Just got banged up a little, which you already knew, Sammy."

"It's Sam," he corrected.

He scoffed. "Sure."

This time it was Sam's turn to roll his eyes. "Are we really going to be out there 'saving people, hunting things' because it's the family business while we look for Dad? We need to find him, Dean."

"And we will, Sammy. I'm not giving up - but we have to help people who need us. Think about them," he encouraged, flashing a smile at his younger brother.

Sam groaned and looked over at his brother sitting on the other bed. "Fine. We'll do this your way." Conceding defeat was killing him but fuck it - he'd continue hunting only to save innocents.

"Good." Dean rolled over and bit back a moan of pain. "Glad I killed that fucker."

The WInchesters remained unaware of just how many hunts lay ahead.


	7. The Family Business

**Dead in the Water **tag

* * *

As they drove away from the Barrs, Sam wondered just what else his brother wasn't telling him about the night their mother died. The fact that Dean see it happen horrified him to his core. That night had clearly traumatized his older brother so Sam refused to bring it up before Dean did - and that rarely happened. He had seen a whole new side of his brother when he interacted with Lucas, and he was reeling as a result. "Where we heading next?"

Dean shrugged. "No fucking clue."

Sam laughed. This was his life now and he had to accept it because of the family business. "Got it."

"Why don't you sleep?" Dean suggested even though he knew Sam was headed for more nightmares that way. He needed the rest, however, especially since they needed to be awake and alert during hunts.

Sam really didn't want to but he was pretty exhausted. "Maybe," he murmured before closing his eyes, desperately hoping he wouldn't see Jess die again.

Dean hoped the nightmares would stop too but he wasn't holding his breath.

Sam couldn't get his mind off his mother's death, however, unaware his brother had one more revelation about that night.


	8. Demonic Encounter

Tag to **Phantom Traveler**

* * *

The Winchesters' first encounter with demons had left both Sam and Dean pretty rattled - and the latter was still trying to calm down after the flight from hell. "You happy to get back to the Impala?" Sam asked knowingly.

Dean shot a glare in his direction. "We are never flying again. I don't give a fuck what you say to try and convince me, Sammy."

Sam chuckled. "Good to know. We'll steer clear of airports from now on," he promised.

"We fucking better." Dean was never going to set foot on a plane again if he could help it. He trusted Baby to get them where they needed to go.

"Do you think we'll run into demons again?" questioned a curious Sam. He hoped they didn't but he couldn't help thinking about the exorcism they had just performed.

"No clue but hopefully not." Dean would rather stick to ghosts, thank you very much.

So would Sam but he couldn't shake the feeling that shit was about to go down. And what all did that demon know, even if they supposedly lied? It worried him.

But first they had to get back to the Impala and their usual, regularly exciting hunts.


	9. Sam's Secret

Tag to **Bloody Mary**

* * *

Dean eyed Sam in concern, wondering what his brother was hiding and hoping he'd be let in on the big secret - whatever it was - soon. He didn't like that Sam was keeping something from him - what if it hurt him? He cranked the radio up and grinned at his brother, however. "Looking forward to that seven hundred years of bad luck?"

Sam, still slightly in shock from seeing Jess (a hallucination?), only shrugged and laughed a bit. "I'm sure it'll be fine," he said, waving off Dean's concerns. He wasn't going to worry about it or else he'd drive himself up the wall. It wasn't worth it.

"Glad you seem to think so!" Dean yelled over the loud music.

"Turn it down!" Sam yelled but when his brother only smiled and pretended like he hadn't heard him, he did it himself.

"You're a joy killer, Sammy." But Dean didn't care that much and only turned it up louder to annoy him.

Sam glared and turned it back down. "Try it," he threatened.

Dean laughed and turned it back up yet again. "Make me."

Just another day in the lives of the Winchester brothers, even though Bloody Mary had attacked them.


	10. Home

Tag to **Skin**

* * *

Sam knows they have a problem since Dean is now legally dead but sitting by his brother in the only home he's ever known, he doesn't care - even as injured as he is. He beams at his brother, pleased when he grins right back. "Don't think we'll be able to set foot in St. Louis for a long time, if ever."

Dean shrugs. "Eh, we'll deal with that later."

"Of course you'd say that." Sam only sighs and settles back to relax.

As long as Sam and Dean have each other, they'll be able to kick supernatural ass any time.


	11. Three Billion

Tag to **Back and to the Future**

* * *

When all the doors popped open in Hell at once and at least three billion souls escaped, Belphegor took his chance to leave with the rest of them, not wanting to stick around. Finding the Winchesters and their angel was a bonus and one he planned to take advantage of, but he really liked them - they were all legends for a reason. And he'd definitely help but fucking with them too seemed like a lot of fun. He wished he could wink and would have done so already multiple times if his Nephilim vessel's eyes hadn't been burned out. When Cas glared at him once more as they headed back to the bunker, he smirked. "Like what you see?" he asked, despite knowing this was his kid.

"Shut up," Cas growled, turning his attention back to the front seat, still unable to look at the abomination wearing his son.

"Sorry." Belphegor kicked Dean's seat and pretended to look out the window when he also glared at him. When they arrived back at the bunker, he stared in awe as the doors opened. "I've heard about this bunker but it's way more awesome than everybody said. Wow."

"Don't you have a penis rock to worship?" Dean snarked.

"Nice!" Belphegor gave him a thumbs up and then waltzed down the stairs, hoping to find a room to claim.

"How long do you plan to stick around?" Sam questioned. Now that they were home, the impact of Jack's death - and the subsequent body snatch by a demon he planned to research - was hitting him hard. His innocent son was gone, murdered for nothing, and now a snarky ass demon supposedly trying to help was riding around in his body. It hurt on several levels.

"As long as you need me. Don't worry, I'll try to find another body," Belphegor replied, waving off his concerns. He'd probably stick around for a while because it was clear the three of them needed his help - and they likely knew it - but they were all too tired and run down to call him on it.

"You're fucking lucky for helping us out twice but don't think we trust you." Dean sighed and stomped back to his room.

Cas sat down as everything finally caught up to him. "Get out of my fucking sight, Belphegor."

"Right. Is this going to be a persistent issue between us? I just want to know how long you're going to try to smite me." Belphegor hated rubbing salt in the wound but there was nothing he could really do about it right now.

"All these bodies and you just ihad/i to chose Jack?" Sam couldn't help but wonder why this demon had chosen them - their track record with demons - including Crowley - was not good. Belphegor was definitely hiding something.

"He was the nearest available body that wasn't worm food. I already told your brother this. Now it's been a long day, fellas, so I'm going to bed."

"You don't even sleep. Why do you need a bed?" Sam didn't even know why he chose to ask but whatever, too late to take it back now.

"Because beds are nice. Hopefully they're nicer here than they are in Hell." And then Belphegor waltzed down the hallway to find a bedroom.

"Keep an eye on him, will you? I don't trust him as far as I can throw him," Cas murmured to Sam.

"Of course - I don't either." But with all that was now currently on their plate, they'd deal with Belphegor likely double crossing them when they crossed that bridge.

"He's up to something." Cas finally stood up and then headed back to his own room, leaving Sam alone to stew in his own thoughts.

They were all right in the middle of a massive shitstorm and trying to see a way out of it right now seemed impossible. How were they supposed to deal with all the souls that escaped this time? And what about Heaven? Had Chuck opened those doors too? Who knows what else was on their plate, and he was stressed just thinking about it. And he didn't even want to get into the vision that had been thrown his way when Cas tried to heal him. It was best to just ignore it for now too.

Meanwhile, Belphegor sat back on the pillows behind him and laced his fingers together above his head. The world was about to be split apart and as much as he hated this and wanted to go back to Hell, he planned to enjoy the discord (while helping to ease it - just a bit). He didn't think the so called Team Free Will could win this, especially if God had taken the wheel. How could they beat Him with those odds? Plus, they wouldn't always be up against ghosts - they had gotten lucky today with those easy to use spells. Belphegor wanted a front row seat as the world burned, just to see how it all played out. Watching and helping the Winchesters and their angel deal with it was going to be pretty entertaining. He had his own selfish motivations for this that he planned to drop on them later and although they didn't trust him - with good reason - he'd make sure he'd earn it. There was just no possible way they could deal with at least three billion souls wreaking havoc on Earth, though. But for now, he decided to enjoy his new bed and try to come up with viable solutions to stalling this Apocalypse. God had fucked them all over and while they couldn't stop whatever shitstorm about to rain down on them, they could at least hinder it a bit.


	12. Healing Touch

Missing scene for** Raising Hell**

* * *

As soon as the ghosts disappeared, Cas rushed to Ketch's side to heal him. He hovered his hand over the wounds, expecting them to disappear, and frowned when nothing happened. "What the fuck?" he murmured. He tried once more but nothing happened again. Confused, he looked up at Dean, who had joined them. "Call for an ambulance," the angel ordered.

Dean stared at him in confusion but did exactly that as Cas tried one more time to heal Ketch. "Not working. Hospital will take care of me," Ketch assured him as his eyes fluttered open.

"Let me try again." Now frustrated, Cas put his hands down on the wound, apologizing to Ketch when he groaned in pain. He cleared his mind and tried once more to heal the gunshot wounds. He couldn't even feel a flicker of his abilities and the thought chilled him to the bone. What was happening? But he kept pressure on the injuries until the sirens started up. When the ambulance reached them, he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I wouldn't worry about not being able to heal him - we've been dealing with a lot of shit and you probably just need to recharge," Sam reassured him once more as they walked away from Ketch and the ambulance.

Cas frowned. "I don't know." Something felt off, and he couldn't figure out why. Was this related to Chuck kickstarting the apocalypse? But maybe Sam was right and he had nothing to worry about. Hopefully he wouldn't need to heal anybody else for the foreseeable future.

Everything had literally been shot to hell, and Cas couldn't help but wonder if losing his ability to heal was part of it, a symptom of something else. But he focused his attention back on the town and its inhabitants for now.


	13. Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

Missing scenes/tag to **The Rupture**

* * *

As soon as Rowena completely disappeared from sight, Sam's knees buckled and he went down. Concerned, Dean immediately dropped down by his side to make sure he wasn't hurt. "Sammy? You hurt anywhere?"

Tears pouring down his face, Sam shook his head. "No."

"You think you can get up?"

"No," he repeated, his breath hitching. Sam couldn't move a muscle and doubt he'd be able to get up any time soon.

Dean and Cas exchanged a glance and then both grabbed one of Sam's arms to help him up, ushering him back to the Impala. "You sure nothing needs healed?" Cas pressed, even though he wasn't even sure he'd be able to right now.

"I'm okay," Sam lied.

"Let's just go home, Sammy."

Suddenly frantic, Sam waved his hand. "Rowena's stuff! I need to get it." But he found he couldn't even make his legs move to get out of the car now that he was inside and deflated.

"I'll get her things," Cas assured him and he jogged back to the mausoleum. He returned in less than ten minutes and found Dean fussing over Sam, checking him for injuries despite the younger Winchester's protests. "Everything is here. I'll keep it in the back with me. That okay with you, Sam?"

"Sure."

The one or two word responses worried Dean but he couldn't focus on that right now - they needed to get home. "Let's go," Cas murmured as he closed the door.

The three of them headed back home to the car and to no one's surprise, Sam cried the entire way home. "Why don't you try and drink some water, Sammy?" Dean suggested. Sam kept turning him down, however, and was still a mess by the time they made it to the bunker. Cas and Dean helped him out of the car, and the latter kept a hand on his brother's back as they made their way down the stairs. "I'll take care of him," he said and that was that.

"She's dead," Sam murmured as he sat down on his bed.

"I know, Sammy. I"m sorry." Dean didn't know what else to do or say. Sam had to kill someone he cared about to save the world and there was nothing he could say to make it okay.

"I need out of these clothes." Sam stood up and frantically pawed at his shirt, trying to get his clothes off. He thanked his brother when Dean helped him and grabbed some clean ones out of his drawer.

Dean kneeled down next to him, not sure when to break it to his brother that Ketch was also dead - he had gotten the text during their car ride home. "You need anything? Anything at all, kid, just tell me."

Sam looked at up with reddened eyes as more tears poured down his face. Dean used his thumb to wipe some off his cheeks. "I loved her, Dean. Didn't even realize until it was too late."

His heart broke for him. It wasn't fair to Sam that he had to keep losing the people he loved (wasn't fair for him either). "Aw, Sam." Dean couldn't take it anymore and hugged his younger brother.

Dean briefly left for a quick trip to his room to change and then came back to check on Sam again.

* * *

Dean was furious at Cas and probably would be for a while but he hadn't expected the angel to leave - that was the last thing he wanted. But he couldn't take it back and now they all had to live with the consequences. He wondered if Cas would even come back this time - had he pushed him too far? He wasn't about to dwell on it, however - he had a grieving brother to take care of right now and Sam would remain his number one priority. They'd take a breather and then get back to work. That's what they always did. He finished his beer, grabbed another one, and then returned to Sam's room, unsurprised to find him on his side, still crying. "Sam, why don't you drink some water and go to sleep?"

"Not tired," Sam lied.

"For me?" Dean tried.

Sam couldn't say no to that. "Fine," he said.

Dean cracked a smile, handed the glass of water over, and encouraged his brother as he gulped down some of the water. "You feeling a little better now?"

"Yeah," Sam rasped.

Knowing that his brother would try to lie to get him out of his room, Dean sat back against one of the pillows. "Not going anywhere, kid. I'm right here."

Sam glared but sighed and closed his eyes. "Thanks, Dean."

"No problem, Sammy." And Dean waited and watched over his brother as he finally went to sleep.

He was so furious right now he didn't know how to handle it but taking care of his brother would always help. They'd deal with all the other shit later.

* * *

Cas stopped outside the bunker for a brief second, wondering if Dean would call him back, and then accepted that wasn't going to happen. He got in his car, unsure of his destination, and then leaned on his head on the steering wheel as sobs wracked his body. He hadn't had time to properly grieve Jack and now everything was hitting him at once - they had all been through so much shit in the past week or so and he didn't have it in him to cope with anything else. On top of that, his powers were failing and he didn't know what that meant - it was terrifying in every conceivable way. Losing Mary, Jack, and Rowena so close together was absolutely heartbreaking. And the fact that his and Dean's friendship had fallen apart was making an already fucked situation worse. He didn't know where Chuck was but he hoped he was suffering. "Tell me what to do," he whispered as the sobs continued. He didn't know who he was talking to and it didn't really matter. He wished they had answers.

Pulling himself together, Cas wiped the tears off his face and decided to look for a hunt. He needed something to keep his mind off everything, especially since he didn't know if he was even coming back this time.

All three members of Team Free Will had been pushed to their limit. They didn't know what was next on their plate but it couldn't be good. And for now, they were splintered, torn apart by grief and anger.


	14. Fighting Back

Tag to **Atomic Monsters**.

* * *

Becky expected to be dead, to find herself in Hell after Chuck (God. What the fuck) snapped her away, but she opened her eyes and found herself in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere instead. She nearly started sobbing in relief upon laying eyes on her husband and children, sure Chuck had killed them. "Becky? Where are we? What the fuck happened?" her spouse demanded when he saw her.

She shrugged and willed her hands to stop shaking. "It's a long story." They needed to help the Winchesters, though, since Chuck clearly had a vendetta against them. Becky nearly collapsed in relief when the kids ran up and hugged her. "I love you guys so much," she whispered, running her hands through their hair.

"You want to explain? I think we got time," he replied, clearly angry and confused.

Becky sighed. "I don't think you're going to believe me." But maybe he would - they had been teleported out of their house to a completely different locale, after all. They definitely needed to find somewhere to stay, hopefully far away from Chuck. And she really needed to stop shaking. But she flashed a smile. "We've got work to do."


	15. Embracing A New Path

**Proverbs 17:3** tag

* * *

Lilith hadn't wanted to be resurrected or dragged into Chuck's plan but she chose to embrace the new path he put her on. Even though she was still pissed as hell, especially after fleeing the Winchesters, she knew she needed to come up with a plan to survive. Chuck's plan meant this world was fucked, and an escape plan was definitely in order. Maybe she'd find or create a portal to another universe, one where the Winchesters - or some other arbitrary excuse - hadn't pissed off God.

So even as she ran, Lilith started cooking up a plot to take charge and fuck over Chuck. He wouldn't know what hit him, and that was exactly the way she wanted it. But first, she needed to find demons - and maybe other supernatural creatures - willing to serve her. Taking over Hell sounded like the perfect idea. A lot had changed since she was last on Earth, and Lilith couldn't wait to make others fear her again - it sounded like a lot of fun.

Hopefully the Winchesters wouldn't catch up to her soon, and she'd be free to do whatever she wanted. They learned since she last saw them too, but that was fine.


	16. New Sensations

**Golden Time** tag

* * *

Eileen wanted to explore the bunker - the world - now that she was living again - but she was so exhausted that her first step after hugging Sam was taking a nap. Once she woke up refreshed - somewhat, because nightmares about Hell plagued her - Eileen set out to find Sam and Dean. Cold, she shivered, but even that felt nice and the hunter welcomed the sensation. Everything seemed brighter now, even though Hell was sticking to her. Dean smiled and waved when he spotted her and she grinned right back. "You sleep okay?" he asked knowingly.

Eileen shrugged. "Better than I expected, she answered honestly.

He nodded. "Welcome back to the land of the living. You hungry?" Dean asked as he stood up to head to the kitchen.

"Yes, thank you." Surprising even herself, Eileen hugged Dean and then sent him on his way. She lit up when Sam walked into the room and she ran to him to give him another hug.

He beamed back at her. "How are you feeling?" he signed.

"Not great," she signed back, wanting to be honest.

A sad and knowing look in his eye, Sam's heart sank for her and he hugged her yet again. "I'm here if you need me."

Eileen shivered again but continued to smile at him. "Thank you so much for everything, Sam."

"You don't have to thank me, Eileen, but you're welcome." They sat down, and Eileen was unprepared when Dean entered the room with a full tray of food about twenty minutes later. "You have to be starving, and I wanted to help." He stole a piece of bacon and then sat down.

Eileen dug into her food and practically inhaled it, she was so hungry - she hadn't realized until her breakfast was right in front of her. Sam and Dean both eyed her in concern but said nothing - the latter even stopped stealing food off her plate. Once Eileen was full, she pushed the tray back and thanked Dean once more.

"You want to take a walk?" Sam signed.

"Sure," she answered. Dean rolled his eyes but the smile on his face gave him away as he took the tray back to the kitchen.

Sam and Eileen walked around and explored the entire bunker, stopping a few times to relax and take it all in. Both of them enjoyed it although Sam worried and put a stop to it once he noticed she was starting to lag and clearly exhausted. "You need another nap, Eileen?"

She shook her head. "No more sleep." But she definitely needed to sit back and relax, watch some TV. They ended up in the Dean Cave and picked out a movie to watch together. Sam was glad they had gone with a comedy because he didn't think she could handle anything dark right out of Hell.

Eileen started to feel off as the credits started to roll and couldn't quite figure out why. She put a hand on her mouth to stifle a sob but failed and then started crying in relief when Sam pulled her into him. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"Don't be sorry," he signed.

Eileen wasn't okay and wouldn't be for a long time, if ever, but she felt better - and a lot lighter - as she cried out years (decades) of trauma. She wasn't alone and never would be, not with the Winchesters (and their angel) by her side.


	17. Burying The Lead

**Last Call** tag

* * *

After checking over Sam and making sure he wasn't injured, Dean sighed in relief and collapsed on the bed next to his little brother. Sam eyed him in concern. "You okay?"

Dean nodded. "You remember Lee Webb?"

Sam grimaced but nodded. "Yeah. What about him?"

He sighed again and tried to build himself up to telling Sam what exactly went down. "Ran into him on a hunt - he apparently got out of the life and owned a bar."

Sam noticed the use of past tense but didn't mention anything. "Sounds nice. What happened?" He squeezed his brother's shoulder, instinctively knowing Dean needed his support.

Dean appreciated it and flashed his brother a smile. "Turns out he was feeding people to the monster. Killed them both." He was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed now (after checking Sam one more time, of course. He wanted to be completely sure he wasn't dying anymore).

His mouth dropped open. "Holy shit. Again, you okay?" Dean looked far from it, and Sam wanted to make sure that killing an old friend wasn't his breaking point.

"I will be," Dean answered honestly. He'd sleep this off and be fine in the morning - like always.

Sam didn't buy it but he also didn't call his brother on it (recovering from almost dying yet again took a lot out of him). He pulled him in for a half hug. "Go clean up, Dean," he encouraged.

"Fine." Dean ruffled Sam's hair as he stood up, laughing at his brother's protests, and then headed out for a shower. He waved to Eileen but ignored Castiel when he passed the two of them.

Lee would just be a footnote in their story, and Dean was okay with that. He had done what was right and didn't regret it.


	18. Closure

**Our Father, Who Aren't In Heaven** tag

* * *

Adam felt a sense of closure as he and Michael left the bunker - relief too, which was odd. "Where do you want to go next?" he asked the angel in his head.

"The way I see it, the world is ours. We should steer clear of God and maybe the Winchesters too?" Michael asked.

"Sounds like a plan." He hoped Dean and Castiel's Purgatory trip went well. He had a feeling they'd be seeing his half-brothers again, however.

"Are you hungry again?" Amused, Michael could only shake his head at his human.

"I might be. Don't judge me," Adam teased. He laughed at the look of mock outrage on Michael's face before the two of them headed to the closest pizza place. Hopefully this trip wouldn't end with a smiting.

"You sure enjoy pizza." Michael couldn't blame him for wanting his favorites after a decade in the cage, even if French fries seemed disgusting and way too greasy.

"It's one of my favorites - I'll be eating it a lot," Adam admitted as he sat down.

The two of them hoped they were free now but they knew better. They'd get dragged into this fight again one way or another eventually.


	19. Back To Normal

Episode tag to **The Trap**

* * *

When Sam headed to bed early, Dean and Cas weren't surprised. "I'll check in on him in a little while, make sure he's not having nightmares," he told the angel.

"Sounds good." Cas grabbed his glass and downed some of his drink. He sighed. "We'll figure out another way to get to Chuck."

"Of course we will. That fucker's going down." Dean yawned and flashed his friend a tired smile. Twelve hours in Purgatory and then rescuing Sam and Eileen had taken a lot out of him. He couldn't wait to go to bed, even as keyed up as he was right now.

Cas nodded. "We'll make sure of it," he vowed. They had suffered a loss tonight that was okay - they'd get Chuck at some point down the road.

Dean hesitated for a second. "We're good now, right?"

"Yes, we're fine now. You don't have to worry," the angel assured him.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. Now you're dead on your feet so please go to bed."

"I can stay here and drink with you for a little while longer." Dean yawned again and then downed another glass before pouring himself some more.

The two of them sat in (a comfortable) silence for a while longer. "Maybe we should thank Rowena for telling us to work our issues out," Cas joked.

He snorted. "She definitely helped but it was mostly Purgatory and you nearly dying on me again." Dean playfully knocked his shoulder. "Don't do that."

"I'll try not to. I don't want you or Sam to die on me either."

Dean sobered for a second. "How are you doing? I never really asked you how you were coping with Jack's death."

The lost look in the angel's eyes nearly broke him. Cas just shrugged. "I'm coping as well as can be expected. It hurts. My child is gone, and then I had to kill the demon riding his body. I miss him."

Dean put his drink down and squeezed Cas' shoulder. "I'm sorry - I know I made it worse. And I miss him too. I miss Mom." He sighed.

"How are you coping with Mary's death?" Dean hadn't brought Mary up very much in the months since her death, and Cas knew he was still grieving the loss even as they were dealing with the Chuck problem.

Dean sighed. "I miss her every day. Glad I got to truly know her." She wasn't perfect and definitely not the woman he built up in his head but like he told her before, he loved her. He was grateful for the three extra years they got to spend with each other, and was still so happy Sam had the chance to make memories with her and discover who she was.

"She loved you both so very much, Dean."

He smiled at Cas. "I know. She loved you too - considered you one of her boys."

Cas beamed right back. "That was sweet of her." He sighed and downed his drink. "I think it's time to head to bed."

Dean checked his phone. "Yeah, you're right. I want to check in on Sammy, see how he's doing after the day from hell."

The two of them stood up and then went their separate ways. Dean opened Sam's door and wasn't surprised to find his brother still wide awake. "You don't have to check on me. I'm fine, Dean." But the look of relief on Sam's face said otherwise.

"You're not fine, and you don't have to pretend to be, kid. Tell me the truth," Dean encouraged as he sat down on the bed. He flashed his brother an encouraging smirk.

Sam smiled back but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm nowhere near okay, Dean. You really think we can beat Chuck?" He needed his hope back but it felt impossible, especially now.

He nodded. "I really think we can beat Chuck. Don't know how but we got this." He intended to do more than punch Chuck the next time they saw him, even if it didn't do shit. God needed to pay for hurting Sam.

Sam fidgeted a bit before taking the covers off him and sitting up on a pillow. "I can't fucking believe I let him get in my head - I've been tortured worse."

"You have but torture is torture, and I'm guessing he knew exactly what buttons to push?"

"Yeah. It seemed so out of character for us, you know? But I couldn't take the risk." Sam lowered his eyes and felt the guilt creeping in again.

Dean tapped his shoulder. "Hey, don't do that. I trust you and know you made the right decision. What exactly happened?" He hated digging into Sam's trauma when it was so fresh but his curiosity had gotten the best of him. And maybe it'd even help his younger brother.

Sam didn't answer at first, not wanting to dive deep into the horrors he saw, but he yawned and leaned his head against Dean's shoulder (and as expected, his brother didn't even complain), needing the comfort. "You lost hope, you know? And I told Chuck that the Dean who raised me would never do that."

Dean flushed. "Yeah? Well, you're right. Chuck can go fuck himself."

He laughed, took a deep breath, and then explained everything he saw to his older brother, having to stop a few times to regain his composure. Dean listened without judgment and didn't even interject until Sam finished. "Sammy, that shit Chuck showed you? Is out of character for us both. We wouldn't have let ourselves turn like that, make Bobby and Jody take us out."

"Are you pissed I let him into my head now?" Sam desperately hoped he wasn't.

"I'm pissed at Chuck and don't blame you at all. Again, tortured. Let it go, Sammy. Be like Elsa." Dean waited and wasn't surprised when Sam snorted. He smirked at his brother. "I'm going to go now. Call me if you need." He went to stand up but stopped when Sam grabbed onto his arm.

"Stay," Sam pleaded, his voice hitching.

Dean couldn't say no to that, even if he wanted to. "Damn it, kid, the puppy dog eyes should have stopped working on me years ago. How do you still do this to me?" But he slid up to Sam's side, pulled the covers over his brother, and lay down.

Team Free Will was truly back and functioning well again, and Chuck wouldn't know what hit him next time they ran into him. But for now, Sam was a little brother in need of comfort, and Dean needed to make sure he was okay. The three of them would be able to start over when the sun rose the next day. For now, they let themselves fall apart because they truly needed it.


	20. No Good Very Bad Day

Tag to **The Heroes' Journey**

* * *

When Cas returned from Heaven and went straight back to the bunker, he found Sam and Dean sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Hey! How was Heaven?" Dean asked.

Cas slumped his shoulder. "Didn't get anywhere," he admitted.

"That's fine, Cas. We know you tried," Sam assured him. He went to stand up, sneezed, and then fell back down on the couch. "Fuck!"

The angel furrowed his brow and watched as Dean rubbed his brother's back and then felt his forehead. "You still have a fever, kiddo. I'll grab you some medicine."

"Are the two of you alright? Neither of you look well." Cas frowned at them, concerned. He folded his arms and waited for a response.

Dean shrugged one of his shoulders then winced. "We have to go to Alaska - we're cursed, thanks to that bastard Chuck."

Cas went rigid. "What," he demanded flatly.

Sam stood up again and wobbled for a few seconds (Dean kept a hand out to catch him again just in case) but righted himself. "At first we thought everything was because of Chuck but now we're pretty sure he just decided to fuck with us. We have abilities - we've hunted practically our whole fucking lives. Garth says there's this place in Alaska that can fix this situation."

"Baby's not at her best right now - fuck Chuck - so we're waiting a few more days. And then we'll figure out a way to actually get to Alaska - by boat?" Dean scowled and clenched his fist.

"We don't want the boat or whatever to sink, and Dean doesn't want to fly. But we got this - we'll definitely figure it out," Sam assured Cas.

Cas wasn't entirely convinced. "Tell me everything that's happened," he demanded, stepping back when Sam started sneezing. He and Dean both eyed Sam in concern.

Dean stood up and grabbed onto his brother's arm to keep him from falling again. "It's a long, fucked up story," he warned Cas. He headed towards Sam's bedroom to grab him some medicine first before they delved into what exactly had gone down in the past few days. Dean slipped on the way back in but Cas managed to catch him just in time.

"Fucking normal sucks," Sam muttered before downing the cold medicine his brother handed him. Bess' solution hadn't worked very long and he definitely didn't want to try it again. Garth's wife gave no fucks, something he'd definitely appreciate any other time. Being trapped in misery with Dean was something he hoped never happened again.

"It's the worst," Dean agreed. He sat back down and forced Sam to sit again too, still concerned about his younger brother.

"Explain now." Cas stared at them down and the two of them finally laid everything out for the angel. Sam started coughing and Dean whacked his back in an effort to make it stop, which only made it worse.

Sam glowered at him but managed to stop coughing a few minutes later. However, tears poured down his face. "Ow," he muttered.

"You need to get you something to drink?" Cas headed to the kitchen when Sam nodded and grabbed him some water, which he greedily devoured when the angel returned.

"Our no very bad day is neverending. Can't wait to get to Alaska." Dean winced and rubbed his forehead. "And now I have a headache."

"Is there anything I can do for either of you?" And Dean?" The hunter looked up at him. "I've been healing everything wrong with you - including cavities - over the past decade."

"Oh. That makes sense," Dean admitted before wincing as his hand flew to his forehead again.

Cas wanted to make this easier for them until they got to Alaska - he wasn't fully on board with the plan because of everything that could go wrong but the boys were right that they couldn't continue like this. Chuck could strike again at any minute, and they needed to be at their best.

They'd be prepared for him next time and wouldn't let him catch them off guard again.


	21. Eggshells

Tag to **The Gamblers**

* * *

Jack avoided looking Sam and Dean in the eyes when they sat down, guilt weighing heavily on him. How could he ever make it up to them? He had killed their mother and that was unforgivable but he at least needed to apologize. Facing them, on the other hand, was terrifying so he kept the conversation on topic - Chuck. "We'll beat him." He wrinkled his nose up. "Eating hearts is disgusting but I'll do what I have to do defeat my grandfather."

"We'll find a way," Cas assured him, grinning at his son.

Jack flashed him a nervous smile and stood up. "I'm going to my room - see you in the morning." He waved at them and then proceeded to flee to his bedroom, not coming out again until late the next morning.

When he did, he ran straight into Sam and Dean in the kitchen. He had his foot halfway out the door when they stopped him. "Come sit," Sam said, patting the bench.

"Okay." Jack chuckled nervously and made his way over, sitting down next to him. Too nervous to eat, he opted not to grab any cereal despite how much he wanted some - he had lost his appetite.

"How you feeling, kid?" Dean questioned as he sipped on his coffee.

Avoiding eye contact, Jack forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"No side effects from eating a heart?" Cas asked, walking into the kitchen to check in on the three people he loved most in the world.

Restless and panicking, he tensed up. "No side effects." Jack bit his lip and turned his attention to the wall.

Cas, Sam, and Dean exchanged worried glances. "You want to watch a movie? We can move movie night up," Dean suggested.

"Sounds wonderful doesn't it?" Cas flashed his son a smile.

Jack's smile didn't reach his eyes, worrying them even more. "Yeah," he replied. He stood up. "We can choose something in a little while." He bolted back to his room again.

Unfortunately for him, none of his fathers wanted him to wallow in guilt anymore so they knocked on his door and checked on him about ten minutes later. Cas sat down on the bed first and patted his shoulder. "We're here if you need us but don't bottle anything up - that's how we got in this situation in the first place. Tell us what you're feeling, Jack," he encouraged.

"We're thrilled you're back - watching you die in front of us was heartbreaking," Sam murmured as he too sat down on the bed.

Dean followed suit seconds later. "It really sucked. And your grandfather can go fuck himself."

Jack chuckled but his gaze was hollow. "How can you even stand to look at me?"

Sam frowned. "What do you mean?"

He stood up and they went with him. "I killed Mary - your mother! Why do you even want me around?" He whirled around to look at Sam. "Why did you hug me? Why aren't any of you furious with me? I hurt so many people." His voice cracked and he desperately hoped he didn't start crying.

"You didn't have a soul. I've been through the same thing, so it would be hypocritical if I didn't forgive you. You're our kid, and I love you." Sam pulled him in for another hug, which Jack resisted at first.

Dean grabbed his face again and smiled at him. "I can't forget that you killed my mom - I miss her so fucking much - but I forgive you."

"And I forgive you too, but you already knew that," Cas reminded him. It had been a long drive home and they hadn't been able to spend it all in awkward silence.

Jack bowed his head and a sob broke through. "I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, unable to stop crying as they stepped forward for a group hug.

It was far from okay - the four of them still had a lot of unresolved issues - but Team Free Will was finally starting to heal. And Jack would just have to live with the guilt for the rest of his life, even though he took comfort in his fathers' forgiveness. He was more than okay with the feelings currently drowning him, and they had more pressing issues to deal with anyway.


	22. Years In The Making

Set post **Galaxy Brain**

* * *

Claire rushed to the front door, nearly taking a header into it, as she struggled to grab the knob to open it. When the door did open, she took off like a bat out of hell towards the bedroom and her breath caught in her throat when she laid eyes on Kaia. Jody smiled at her. "She's finally sleeping. You didn't rush here, did you?"

"Do you want me to lie to you?" Claire asked, her voice brittle.

Jody stood up and hugged her daughter. "You can breathe now, sweetheart. Kaia's not going anywhere." She kissed the top of Claire's head and then left the two girls alone.

Kaia's eyes started to open, and Claire froze. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Kaia did wake up just seconds later, gasping for breath. "Claire?" she asked.

Claire let out a sob and sat down on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Kaia sighed, fidgeted, and forced a smile on her face. "I'm back home now - how could I not be awesome?"

Claire side-eyed despite the overwhelming sense of relief overwhelming her. For the first time in a long time, she wasn't angry - couldn't be. "Kaia, don't lie to me," she gently chided. "Can I hug you?" At Kaia's nod, she pulled her in for a hug. She had never believed in love at first sight until meeting Kaia, and hoped she felt the same way.

"Everything is overwhelming," a mumbling Kaia admitted.

"Of course they are - you've been trapped in another, really shitty world for a few years.. You don't have to bullshit me." She pulled back and grinned at Kaia.

Kaia beamed at her and then shivered. "I don't have to leave this room yet, do I?"

"Definitely not - we'll bring you anything you need," Claire vowed. She knew Jody wouldn't be averse to helping her any way she could, especially with everything Kaia hadn't been through. She desperately wanted to know everything that had happened but she refused to push, willing to wait until Kaia was ready to talk.

"Thank you. I missed you, Claire."

Claire chuckled. "I missed you too." And then she took a deep breath, knowing she didn't have any more time to waste. "I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I've laid eyes on you, which is sappy as fuck and not like me at all, but I'm not losing you again." She let out a sob and tried to pull herself together.

Kaia's eyes also filled up with tears. "That's great to hear because I also love you."

She sniffled but her eyes sparkled with happiness. "Yeah? Well, how about that."

Kaia let out a laugh and watched in anticipation as Claire surged forward to kiss her. A knock on the door interrupted them only minutes later. "Can I come in to check on Kaia?" Alex asked.

The two of them groaned. "Come on!" Claire urged.

Alex walked in with her head held high and flashed them a knowing grin. "How is everything in here?" she asked cheerfully.

Claire rolled her eyes at her sister. "You, Jody, and Patience were eavesdropping, weren't you?"

"Can't confirm nor deny that," Alex answered as she sat down on the bed. Claire squeezed Kaia's shoulder when she flinched and stayed close as Alex checked her over and gave her a clean bill of health.

Jody walked in. "Anybody hungry? I can fix something."

"You want some grilled cheese or something?" Claire questioned.

"I'm not really that hungry," Kaia admitted.

"You need to eat. Nurse's orders," Alex chided.

"Fine. Yes, grilled cheese sounds great." Kaia glared at her but Alex only shrugged it off.

"Great. I'll go cook now." Jody kissed the crown of Claire's head as she walked away, Alex following her out the door.

"That's going to be a problem isn't it?" Kaia correctly deduced.

Claire snorted. "Unfortunately, yes. They're always like this, which is annoying as fuck, but whatever. I love them anyway, God help me. Or maybe not, based on what I've heard about him from Sam and Dean." She glowed with happiness.

"Can you stay with me? Maybe your presence will keep the nightmares away," she suggested.

"Of course I'll stay with you - I'm not going anywhere for a while." Claire moved up the bed so she was closer to Kaia and pulled her into her arms.

Patience's curiosity got the best of her and she came into the room with a plate of grilled cheese about ten minutes later. "I told Jody she made too much but she didn't listen to me."

"You both can have some then." Kaia grabbed one and took a bite, sighing in happiness when she bit into it.

"You look happier than I've ever seen you," Patience observed of Claire as she dug into another one of the grilled cheeses.

"Probably should get used to it."

"I'm glad you're back, Kaia, and that you've apparently made Claire the happiest woman on Earth. Hopefully she won't be so prickly anymore."

"Shut up, Patience."

The three of them sat and ate their grilled cheese in silence after that. Patience gave Claire a quick hug, squeezed Kaia's hand, and then returned to Jody and Alex.

Claire grabbed Kaia's plate and threw both of theirs in the garbage before returning to cuddling with her.

Kaia was nowhere near okay but she had Claire by her side, along with Jody, Alex, and Patience, and that was all she could ask for at the moment. They'd take it one day at a time.


	23. Forgiveness

Episode tag to** Destiny's Child**

* * *

"I'm so sorry," Jack sobbed, wishing he could just calm down and only getting more upset in the process. He wanted their forgiveness but doubted he'd get it.

Sam reacted first and wrapped his arms around their son. "I forgive you," he told him, kissing the top of the nephilim's head. Jack shook so badly that Sam himself was vibrating so he tried his best to soothe him. It didn't seem to be working so Cas also pulled him in for a half hug.

Dean got down on his knees and looked up at him. "Hey, kid."

"Hi," Jack answered, his voice breaking as tears continued to pour down his face.

He blew out a breath. "I'm going to be honest with you - I can't forgive you just yet. You know how badly you hurt me - us - now - and I accept your apology. You're my kid, and I love ya, but forgiveness is going to take a while. Do you understand?"

Jack nodded. "I'm sorry," he sobbed again.

"Please stop crying," Dean pleaded. Sam and Cas helped Jack stand up and this time, he joined in on the hug.

"I feel very crowded," Cas muttered, and they all laughed, Jack included.

"I'm feeling _everything_ right now," the nephilim admitted. All of his emotions were now dialed up tenfold, and he couldn't handle it.

"You'll adjust soon," Sam assured him. Jack didn't have a wall like he did but having all of those emotions slam into him at once had clearly broken him and would probably fuck him over for a while, until he re-adjusted to all of it.

"You lost your soul once too," Jack remembered. After his return, Sam had pulled him aside and given him a condensed version of the story. Without any feeling at all, he had basically waved off his father's concerns. Definitely wouldn't do that again.

"I did, and I'm here if you need me."

"We're all here if you need us," Cas chimed in.

"Yeah, we're not going anywhere. You can't get rid of us," Dean added. He ruffled Jack's hair with a free arm.

Jack glared at him but he didn't have the heart to keep it. "Thanks. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm going to work hard to earn it." His breath hitched and Cas reached up to wipe the tears off his face.

"You'll redeem yourself, Jack. Don't be too hard on yourself." Sam missed his mother too but had been so caught up in saving the world he hadn't allowed himself to truly grieve for her. Maybe that would change now that Jack was finally his normal self again.

"We've all fucked up but we're family. Team Free Will here - fucking up is our normal." Dean winked at him then pulled away.

Cas smiled at their son. "He's right. Why don't you go to bed? It's been a long night."

"Can you tell me about the alternate Sam and Dean in the morning?" Jack asked eagerly. He had been too upset to truly talk with them and get to know them.

"Sure. Hipster douchebags," Dean muttered, jumping back to avoid Sam's elbow.

"I liked them. But ugh, that manbun." Sam shuddered. The three of them walked Jack back to his room and each of them gave him a hug before leaving.

Dean knew he was hurting Jack by not forgiving him but he just couldn't do it yet. He was glad his soul was back, though, and hoped this was a step in the right direction. They'd get there in time, hopefully before the nephilim had to kill Chuck.


End file.
